Orange Crush

The first time I saw you behind my eyes you were wearing that outfit from your myspace page,
Gear I never saw in a spot undiscovered by my own pair of soles.

Through the lenses God gave me it was so much different,
A casual hello at a crowded pub,
The words "IRA Remember" stenciled just above your bag in black Sharpie,

He was still with you,
I was all alone.

Then he was gone, but I was caught up,
Staring out the window at that big wave idling over the beach,
Waiting to come down on it all,
A decrepit home filled with rotten rooms,
A 12-month vacation with a lifelong stranger,
A shrapnel shredded heart sent down the Hudson in a manger,
Towards its next mission.

Behind my eyes you looked up at me with fervor,
I only felt surprise,
Knowing that it wasn't real because of the colors.
My dreams are all in grayscale,
Except for when the other side speaks.

You switched speeds like Bruce Lee,
My fingers massaged your neck,
My eyes rolled backward,
My soul moving towards the white light of an Ocean Spray,
Without the sea or the berries.

Everytime I saw you after that I tripped over the words,
The ones I'd left in that box in the back of my head,
Trying not to make it so obvious,
Though I know you couldn't see it anyway.

You called on V-day for 15 minutes and then vanished into the mist,
I beat my pecs like a Gorilla in mourning,
Intellectual sensitibility vaporized by bona fide lust,
The way each cheek felt in each hand as my face melted inside of you,
You fought coming like a title was on the line,
But the scorecard was in my favor.

If we were a figment of mutual imagination then motherfuck the real.
I know how I feel.